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Three years mute and paralyzed. 

by Aug 14

Three fucking years of this shit. Mandatory reading to understand this post: https://0imgur.com/gallery/zWlLQrA I can't fucking deal with this shit. A lot of what you could list off, I have lost. Most of my friends and family have fucked off. My father valued fucking a married woman more than attending to me after I nearly died because some hospital fucktard didn't do their fucking job. The aunt who didn't flee was busy with her dying son. At least every other week my mother shouts at me like you would not believe. I told her this adds to my depression, sometimes makes me suicidal, and not only does she deny all responsibility but fully blames me for how she acts. Hospitals have no idea how to deal with me, like, at all. People stare and I can't tell them to fuck off. I have spent the last few days thinking about Mindwander, my future webcomic, but I can't even do practice sketches. Writing is what I am meant to do but I haven't written a word in over two months. I seem to draw assholes and idiots like moths to a damn flame. Many people assume that because I'm mute, I must be special needs and I am often treated as such. I am nearly completely deaf and people say they know and understand this but make very little attempt to change how they speak so I can hear. I can't scratch my fucking nose. I do my best with rubbing my face against pillows, but instead of my mother helping, she just watches and comments on how cute I am. I try to reach out to writing groups and tell them I'm like this so my responding will be slow, but they get hung up on the me being paralyzed part and decide that I can't possibly also be a writer. Unrelated note, I have gone on writing sites where people want critique, and the submissions are so bad they make me feel nauseous. And I have to deal with so much bullshit that people won't even try to ask my opinion on. +30 people asked to read my story and I barely heard back from five of them. I feel suicidal but want to live. End result sucks ass. You don't get a tl;dr. You can either read this or move the fuck on. If you do any of that thoughts and prayers crap, then I hope the next time you use mayonnaise it's super expired and you won't know until it's too late. No cat tax because mine are dead.

TAKE ME UP

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